


sorry.

by yamatsukkei



Series: Twitter Story Threads [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, adding the tskym relationship tag after like a month now yay, finally get to use that tsukki tag lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22605760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamatsukkei/pseuds/yamatsukkei
Summary: Okay but clingy Tsukki in which Yamaguchi is busy and can't talk often with Tsukki and Tsukki gets all anxious over it bc he knows Yama is busy and can't help it so he does his best to ignore his own feelings but he can't help but /miss/ him so much.--a surprisingly long story migrated and edited from my twitter story thread, heck yeah // summary definitely isn't enough to prepare you for this story
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: Twitter Story Threads [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662394
Comments: 6
Kudos: 73





	sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Original tweet thread can be found here: https://twitter.com/yamatsukkei/status/1222251407325057024
> 
> If the formatting of this story seems a little wonky, it's cause it's migrated from Twitter as the summary says
> 
> but!! I did my best to try and make it flow as well, and I fixed some things that I can't fix in the thread, as well as add sentences here and there to expand on things I couldn't with the 280 character limit per tweet.
> 
> That thread was 183 tweets long, and about 9k worth of words. So I might have added quite a bit here!! It's nothing too substantial though, if you've read my thread. But it does help it flow a little better!!
> 
> The point of views switch /constantly/ in this story, but it is mostly Kei-centric. If the point of view change is too wonky, again, I apologize because it was perfect for Twitter fhdjdhddjdd
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Kei doesn't know when it happens, but when it does, it was slow, creeping up on him and striking when he least expected it. "It" being utter loneliness and every ugly feeling that came alongside it.

Yamaguchi had become busy, with what, he didn't know. He just knew he couldn't talk often with him, and for some stupid reason, Kei feels anxious over it. He knows Yamaguchi is busy, and that he can't help but be so, so he does his best to ignore his own feelings. His own feelings of emptiness, confusion, and yearning. He does his best to ignore them all, but he can't help but _miss_ him so much.

Kei doesn't tell Yamaguchi anything of these feelings, because it's dumb when they already exchange a few words every day. It was something, rather than nothing. Yet it's not enough for him and it's _stupid_ because there's nothing he can do about that, and he hates it.

He absolutely hates it, and because of it, he becomes more snippy with Yamaguchi even though his heart and mind is literally screaming at him not to be so fucking stupid and selfish. But he can't stop, because he's just so _sad_. He finds that his own text replies get shorter and curt, and he hurts.

And _of course_ Yamaguchi notices his odd, reclusive behavior. Of course he does. But he's still busy. So Kei thinks it's fine to keep going as he does, and he tries to find solace in music, reading, or whatever. But he feels so empty and alone, and Yamaguchi just doesn't _know_. He doesn't know what he's going through, how he feels, and it sucks a lot.

Yamaguchi seems to know something, and Kei can feel that he does. Yet Kei keeps going because he's an idiot, and he can't bear to talk to anyone else about this situation he's found himself in. He's just yearning for him, _yearning,_ and he could possibly, genuinely cry at this point.

So he does. 

It's not even a lot. It's just a few tear drops and he's frustrated because he knows he has more emotions to cry out, but he doesn't even cry that much in the first place, so he realizes, _oh, it's that bad._ This whole situation is just _that_ bad. What could he even do?

\--

Tadashi notices that things are getting bad for Tsukki, but he isn't able to do anything about it since he can't escape from being busy. That has to be the worst thing. During school, he notices how _tired_ Tsukki looks and he wants to ask about why he looks so despondent, but he feels like there's a wall between them. It's hard to approach him when this wall exists.

\--

Kei tries his best to keep these feelings away from school, away from practice, away from his family, but it's hard when silence equals more pestering from his annoying teammate and unfortunately friend, Hinata. But guess what? He gets shut out too. Kei can't handle him right now. He doesn't care if Hinata's worried about him. He doesn't care.

\--

So Hinata goes to Yamaguchi, wondering why Tsukishima was being so stand-offish. And he was surprised to see Yamaguchi looking so pained and tired, and he pushes past him with a blunt "I have to leave." No explanation whatsoever.

\--

Tadashi was hurting too. He wanted his best friend back. So badly.

He doesn't know what to do though. It really can't be helped, it seemed. But this weighs on his mind as the days go on, and he finds himself thinking about Tsukki more often than not, and he kind of wants to scream because thinking isn't helping, at all. What use is it?

I mean, really, what else is there to be done when you send a text that says "I miss you, Tsukki" the message gets read almost immediately, and then a few hours later, the reply "me too." shows up, and nothing further is said?

It feels really strange to him, and he hates it.

"Just talk to him," he thinks. And he thinks about this particular thought for a long time, because it should be easy. It should be easy! Yet it's not.

It's not easy because Tsukki suddenly starts getting busy too. For no reason at all, it seems. Not one that he would explain. He sees him less and less, and they even stopped walking to school together.

Tadashi wants to cry.

\--

Yamaguchi should've picked up on it at this point, that Kei can't stand to be near him anymore, because all he can think about is how much he misses him and it's ridiculous, and incredibly painful that they just can't talk. That's why he started avoiding him.

But seeing him ask "Why are you so busy?" hurt more. Especially when it was over text, and not with the voice he took for granted.

He should be the one asking him that question, anyways! So he sends him just that, asking the same of him.

"I can't explain why," comes the reply. Sure he couldn't. Sure.

It was almost scary, the anger that flared up during their short conversation before Kei decided it was giving him a headache.

Stupid. Stupid Kei. Never thinking before opening his mouth. Or texting, he supposed.

Absolutely moronic Kei.

As angry as he is at himself, he doesn't apologize. He shuts off his phone, and lays down instead. Closing his eyes and trying not to think of that sunny, freckled smile.

\--

Tadashi never got an answer back to his question, in the end. The "read" label haunts him, and his heart hurts so much. He wants to cry again, and he does, but it does nothing to quell the pain. It just reminds him that Tsukki's probably given up on him, with the way everything was going. 

So they barely speak, now. Practice is harder than ever, and nearly everyone has caught on that something is going on between the two of them. But the two of them don't let any bad blood show during practice. They won't involve other people, because this is their problem alone.

What do they do? They're not letting anyone help them. They're suffering, and everyone has to watch this happen, helpless. Right?

Nah.

* * *

The classic "lock 'em in a room 'til they make up" solution happens, one day, and Kei could not want to destroy Hinata more than he does now, hearing him call out to the two of them. He knew he should've expected it when both he and Yamaguchi were put in charge of cleaning up.

"I'm gonna kill him," Kei mutters darkly in the storage room, and Yamaguchi sighs, holding one of the poles they were originally tasked with putting away.

"Is it really so bad, being stuck in here with me?" he asks softly, and Kei stares at him in shock.

"Well, no," he says, suddenly nervous.

\--

Neither of them speak for a while, looking away from each other. It was obvious that they wouldn't be let out until they talked, but they had no clue what to say. What was right to say. Tadashi was convinced Tsukki wanted to escape, away from the gym. Away from him. Was he right?

God, it's not even like it was that bad, Tadashi finds himself thinking. This...altercation between him and his best friend, it's not that bad. Maybe if he told himself that over and over, it'd become true.

"Hey. What's happening between us?" he asks, without thinking. Oops.

\--

"Nothing," Kei replies automatically, because nothing's happening. Everything already felt like it was constricting his breathing, and he was just doing his best to remain calm. "Nothing's happening." He repeated, for good measure.

That quiet "Really?" as a response made him flinch.

\--

He still could not look him in the eye, Tadashi observed. With the way Tsukki was hugging himself, slowly shuffling towards a corner of the room, he felt bad. That crushing feeling of guilt turned tenfold when he realized that this whole situation probably happened because he's been busy. Tsukki was probably upset about that. And he wasn't able to communicate well with him, about this. That realization left him dumbfounded.

\--

"I just miss you." Kei mumbled, and if the room were any bigger, Yamaguchi probably would have missed it. His heart started hurting again, as he thought about what he's been through the past few weeks. It was hard enough to admit this out loud. Doing it over text was easier, and he chided himself for his hypocritical thoughts from before.

Yamaguchi's broken expression was not helping. Looking at him was a bad idea.

"It's stupid," Kei began again, because he can't possibly have a filter now that he's gotten started. "It's stupid to be missing you when you're literally right here. It's stupid because I've been making it worse. Like I _deserve_ 100% of your attention, when I don't, so I ran away. But..."

"I've been busy," Yamaguchi cuts in, eyes shimmering. Kei stared hard at the ground, only feeling ashamed for how he's been feeling lately.

"Yeah," he manages, somehow, because emotions were hard, he's had enough, and he just wanted to sleep for five thousand years.

\--

"And... I'm still busy," Tadashi continued, fingers tightly gripping the hem of his shirt.

"Yeah." Tsukki quietly accepted, and Tadashi absentmindedly thought that, maybe he should go for a run. A run that takes him far away from this incredibly crushing atmosphere.

This was going nowhere, fast. They were both tired. What was there to be done?

"Um... I can't promise a lot," Tadashi decided to ignore the way Tsukki's shoulders drooped, just a little. "But I'll try and talk to you more!"

The shaky breath that Tsukki let out alarmed him, and Tadashi almost approached him, but he had held out a hand, to keep him at bay while he replied.

"Okay. Okay. Me too."

\--

When Hinata opened the doors, he was expecting a smiling face and a disgruntled yet happy one to match. Instead, Tsukishima looked far away, and so did Yamaguchi, both of them deeply lost in thought as they shuffled past him. Hinata thought he deserved the tug on his hair that Tsukishima delivered.

\--

The two boys walked home together that day, still quiet and deep in thought. That ten minute exchange in the storage room had been too much for them both, and they both felt as if nothing had been resolved. It only looked as if it was so on the surface, but only marginally so.

It felt wrong.

Kei didn't get it. He poured out his heart, and said things that he had originally meant to keep locked up, but he ended up handing Yamaguchi the key to them all.

It didn't even really change anything, he figured, and as Yamaguchi turned to him with a small, nervous smile, he found himself missing his genuine one.

He was missing him, and he felt as if his mere presence, once again, somehow made everything worse.

"Yamaguchi," he said, turning around to face the other's retreating form.

"Yeah, Tsu–"

He didn't let him finish, because he already wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, shaking a little.

\--

"Tsu–" Tadashi tried again, having brought up his arms to grip the back of his friend's clothes. He was surprised when he had called out, and even more so when he hugged him, initiating it even. But it wasn't unappreciated, for sure.

"No. Don't talk." Tsukki requested, burying his head into his shoulder. Tadashi didn't know why, but he felt like crying again; they haven't had direct contact like this in weeks. It was warm, too warm, and then it was gone.

\--

Before they could get used to it, Kei tore himself away. In reality, he only stepped back, but it felt as if he had thrown himself far away. He didn't meet Yamaguchi's eyes, only nodding at him, before turning to the direction of his home. But he didn't leave in silence, not with a "Talk to you soon." uttered from his lips.

As Kei entered his home, calling out a greeting to his mother, he felt exhausted, and all he could think about was his best friend. That impromptu hug was something they both needed, he felt, but he couldn't help but yearn for him yet again. Everything he's doing isn't helping.

Curling up onto his bed, he brought out his phone, staring at his contact list. Pressing the call button with his eyes shut tight, and thinking that hearing Yamaguchi's voice again so soon was nice.

"Tsukki?"

"Hey," he began, starting to bundle himself in blankets. "I just wanted to hear you again."

\--

Tadashi didn't know what to think, as he had just gotten home himself. The house was quiet, so he thought, yeah, he could concentrate on his homework and call with Tsukki at the same time.

"Okay," he said, with an unnecessary nod. "That's fine!"

What does he talk about, though?

"Um, I don't actually know what to talk about," he admits with a nervous laugh, because he just realized how weird that is. He's always able to fill the void of silence with endless, mindless chatter, but his heart wasn't up for it now.

"Anything," Tsukki mumbled, and he smiled.

"Just need my voice?" Tadashi asked, teasing.

"Yeah. 'm gonna sleep." The honest tiredness behind Tsukki's quiet voice made Tadashi feel warm, for some odd reason, and sad, at the same time.

"Okay," he agrees, before starting to launch into a tirade about some mundane things.

It wasn't his normal chatter, he realized. It sounded strange, like it was forced. Hopefully Tsukki didn't mind too much. He was already surprised that Tsukki called him so soon, but even if they weren't exactly talking at the moment, it felt nice, if not like their situation.

He paused in his mindless talking, listening for any sounds. The quietness on the other end of the call was then made apparent, but Tadashi didn't want to hang up. So he didn't. He just plugged in his phone, and continued working on his homework, mumbling as he does, throughout it all.

He should have invited Tsukki over, because he wasn't really busy. Not today.

The reason Tadashi was so busy nowadays was because he had taken up a job, at Shimada Mart, to make extra money for things he'd like to get. It wasn't necessary, truth be told, and yes, it caused this whole mess. But he couldn't give it up yet. Not yet.

He just hopes he can make it.

* * *

When Kei awoke, his phone battery was at 3%, and he quickly fumbled around for his charger, realizing that he was still in a call with Yamaguchi, the time reading 1:46:45. Yet silence greeted him.

"Yamaguchi?" he questioned softly, until a quiet snore could be heard. "Ah."

So he fell asleep, Kei thought, as he rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. Yamaguchi didn't hang up on him, so he wouldn't either. But, as close as he seems now, he still felt far away. Even with their promises to keep in touch. Thinking about it hurt, and he hated it.

He was hungry, and the smell of udon wafted into his room. With a quick message sent to Yamaguchi in case he woke up and thought Kei ditched him, or something, he went downstairs to go eat, and bask in his mother's positive energy for a little while.

"Kei, honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." Kei responds, because he's just that. He's not doing good, but he's not doing bad either. Probably. Lying to himself seemed like fun. He was grateful for how his mother seemed to know what he was getting at, and instead chatted about her day.

He catches himself wishing that it was Yamaguchi's chatter he was hearing.

After talking with his mother and sating his hunger, Kei felt lighter. Like he could breathe, and returning to his room wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Sitting on his bed, he slips on his headphones and hears shuffling on the other end of it. With a small smile, he speaks.

"You awake, sleepyhead?"

\--

The almost fond tone of voice that sounded made Tadashi jump, and he dropped his pen. He wasn't expecting Tsukki to return so soon after he woke up, but he composed himself, quietly fixating on the name his friend called him.

"Says the sleepyhead himself," he teased, sticking out a tongue.

Tadashi flopped onto his bed after picking up the pen onto his desk, deciding he's had enough homework for the night. He fell asleep doing his work anyways, so it's not like he can concentrate on it now. He just wanted to talk to Tsukki.

"Did you eat anything?" he asked.

"Mom made udon," Tsukki responded, and Tadashi nodded, before realizing he couldn't be seen. It was a habit.

"That's good," he found himself saying, and he realized that everything was going to get awkward. He wanted to talk to him normally again, but he didn't know how to. Thinking once again that, it should be easy. But everything between them felt shaky. Like it was going to collapse, and it had been repaired with a single flimsy strip of tape.

He hates it when he's right.

"Hey, so, why have you been busy lately?"

He hates it so much.

\--

"I– um." Yamaguchi's voice comes out shaky, and Kei doesn't like that it does so. He can feel the tension between them, and he thinks for a second that, maybe he should have done this over text. Anything to not hear the falter and hesitation present in his best friend's voice. Text versus voice, he really needs to make up his mind.

But Kei wasn't someone to do something like this half-assed. Not something this important.

He just wants to know what's taking up so much of his best friend's time. So what if that sounded terrible. Kei's a terrible person, he's known this for years. It's nothing new to him. So he's petty, and doesn't know how to act. He knows that. It's absolutely idiotic of him to be so, but he can't take the weight of his friend's decreased presence in his life off his mind.

"Just tell me."

He was being an entitled prick, like this. He knew.

"I can't."

Oh.

\--

"Why not?"

Tadashi was already nervous as he was, and he didn't want to explain. He didn't want to explain that he was trying to get something. Even though he didn't even know what he was going to end up getting. Was this even worth it? Was working a job worth all of this shit? Was it?

He doesn't even know why he's bothering with it. Maybe he forgot. He can't see anything but the hypothetical fire in Tsukki's eyes, his cold, hardened gaze fixating on him, and he thinks, he has a choice here. To tell him, or not?

Oh, wait, it wouldn't be fair to answer.

"What about you?"

\--

Yamaguchi's tone that was filled with a hint of malice shocked Kei, and enraged him at the same time. He knew he was being unfair, and yet...

"What do you mean?"

He wanted to curl up, he should just shut up. Why can't he shut up?

"Why have you been so busy too? You weren't busy until I was! I even tried making time for you!"

He should've hung up then and there, before he made things worse. To tell the truth, Kei really hadn't been busy. He was just brushing Yamaguchi off then, because he got angry at himself and decided to distance himself from him, thus creating that radio silence between them in the first place.

God. He's terrible. He's probably the worst best friend in the entire world. 

He had a lump in his throat as he spoke. "I was avoiding you. That's all. I wasn't busy," he wanted to cry. But he wasn't going to lie to him anymore. Not that that would probably matter now, he realizes.

"So you... you lied? You didn't want to see me?"

He did. He did want to see him. But he couldn't. Hasn't been able to. So he didn't.

"Yamaguchi–"

"It's not like I wanted this to happen," Yamaguchi started, and his voice sounded far away for a second. He was probably pacing around his room, as he does when he's agitated. "And it's not like I'm busy on purpose! I'm trying my best!"

\--

Tadashi couldn't take it. He couldn't take that accusatory tone in the first place, but hearing Tsukki outright say that he was avoiding him was the final straw.

" _I_ never lied to you. I just never specified what was going on. But now _I'll_ tell you the truth. Unlike you."

"I got a job at Shimada Mart. Just wanted some extra cash on the side. I was going to use it for you. Sure, this whole thing wouldn't have happened if I didn't get a job. But I wanted the money." Mentioning that it was for Tsukki was just a move of pettiness, on Tadashi's part.

\--

For Kei? Why? Why for him? He didn't get it. So he voiced as much.

"Why? Why did you want to do that for me? Why did you go through all of that for me? Why did you put us through this?"

Fuck.

He didn't mean to say that last part. He didn't mean to blame him.

"Oh my fucking god."

Well, shit. He might as well pack up and move far, far away at this point. Good going Kei! Great job!

"You're my best friend, Tsukki. You deserve nice things." Yamaguchi stated flatly. "And thanks. Thanks for shoving that blame onto me. When it's your fault just as much as mine."

Kei stayed silent, shoving his face into the palm of his hands. Stupid.

"I know you didn't know that I was partly doing this for you, but _god_ Tsukki, I–" he didn't want to hear Yamaguchi's choked up tone anymore. "Would it hurt you to just be a little considerate for once?"

\--

Silence, again. Tadashi grew frustrated, and he just groaned loudly, knowing Tsukki could hear it.

"Whatever. So you know now. Are you happy? Are you happy now?" He knew he was being ruthless, but in his honest opinion, he thought Tsukki deserved this. Even if this made him want to cry.

"No."

The pained syllable dragged on in Tadashi's mind, and he just nodded, agreeing with it. But he was tired of this conversation.

"You're so finicky. Make up your mind about what you want. I'm going back to sleep, and you should too. Goodbye, Tsukki."

And he ended the call.

Tadashi moved to lay down in his bed, and he screamed into his pillow, thankful that no one else was home. He was infuriated, exhausted, and so, very sad. He didn't want to think about what was going to happen between them now. He didn't want to think about the loss of such a meaningful friendship. He didn't want to think about anything at all.

He fell into an uneasy sleep, heavy and on edge.

\--

Kei couldn't have gotten a word in. He couldn't have. His throat felt dry, desiring water, but he made no move to get any. He decided he would think, and think.

What did he want? He doesn't really know.

Yamaguchi couldn't know what he was going through. Even if he said that.

He kept replaying their conversation in his head, regretting every single part of it. He was so stupid. He was such an idiot. He couldn't keep his mouth shut. And now he was laying in bed, brooding, possibly letting a few tears leak out of his eyes, but who could tell? All he could do was think about how Yamaguchi did everything for him. All of that. For him.

Yamaguchi really was the greatest friend in the world.

He didn't deserve him.

Instead of taking his advice to sleep, he thought of all the pleasant moments between the both of them, missing them, and him, once again.

He misses him now more than ever, and it hurts so much. But he can't stop.

* * *

Tadashi didn't think that constituted as a fight. A fight that meant, "Oh, let's not talk to each other anymore after just promising that we would." Which is why he consciously made that effort to meet up with Tsukki the next day, making brief eye contact with him. He looked exhausted.

Has he been sleeping well lately? He can't recall when he last thought about his sleeping habits, with how occupied his mind was with a million other things. So he decided to ask him.

"I slept okay," Tsukki responded, almost monotone. He didn't seem to mind walking with him at the moment, so that must have meant something.

"Oh, well, good."

No, not good. This is reminiscent of what happened before. The awkward tension never really left, huh?

"Did you get yesterday's homework done?" He wasn't really expecting anything but a nod, yet a shrug was the non-verbal response given instead.

"I guess."

Tadashi wracked his brain for anything to say. He hated... Whatever this is. He hated it so much. It was different from the beginning, when Tadashi first started his job and he couldn't talk much because he was tired, not used to the workload. But this feeling he got, it felt like the ones he gets on Tsukki's bad days. That must be it. A bad day for him.

He wondered if it was his fault, but he shook his head at the thought, wanting to smack his palm against his forehead. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't even a real fight. Tadashi just needed to cool off, so he had hung up then. He was angry, then. But now, he just misses Tsukki.

Tadashi huffed, stewing quietly. He wanted to talk to him, so much. But he couldn't help the prickle of irritation at the way Tsukki was acting. Even if today was a bad day, he wanted him to make some effort. Show that their talk didn't mean they should just stop talking overall.

\--

Kei walked alongside Yamaguchi, suppressing a yawn. He didn't want to reveal that he didn't get any sleep last night, because his mind would not shut up and nothing he did could help it. He didn't feel like talking either, despite his worries from the night before. He was tired.

Sure, he was worried, but he thought that, maybe everything was okay. Obviously, on the surface, it wasn't. But Kei was too deep into his own thoughts and exhaustion to separate wishes from reality at the moment. Silence began to settle uncomfortably between them both.

Both boys were lost in their own world, and it seems like being together once again did nothing to help their situation.

From afar, watches Hinata, who looks at them with an unreadable expression. Seeing best friends like them act the way they did was worrying. He didn't like it.

* * *

"Hey," Hinata begins, after having beaten Kageyama at their daily race to their locker room.

"What?" The other replies, voice gruff and laced with displeasure at losing.

"Do you think Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are alright?" He asked, watching as their two friends start heading towards the stairs leading to the room.

"What do you mean?" Kageyama mumbled, pulling his hand away after Hinata dragged him into their locker room so they could start changing.

Hinata gestures with his hands, thinking of their faces. "That thing I did yesterday — to help them? I don't think it worked. At all." 

"Well, what can we do about it? Why do you care?" Kageyama's blunt and seemingly apathetic response was _not_ needed here.

Hinata pouted.

"They're our friends, stupid. Even Stingyshima. They're suffering, and I want to help them. They're like, best friends!" Hinata points at himself and Kageyama, as if to accentuate his point. The setter nodded, and he wondered if he knew what he was getting at. "They can't just fight! What if we lose them cause we didn't bother helping them?"

Kageyama just blinked, a frown present on his face.

"Then what do we do?"

* * *

Kei didn't want to be here. He desperately didn't. Practice was going to be hell, and he was not ready for it.

When Hinata flitted to and fro around him, eager to talk, he felt a growing headache start to appear. It didn't help that Kageyama had — quite literally — snatched Yamaguchi away as Hinata jumped into his field of vision.

"What do you want, shrimp? Was locking me in the storage room not enough torture?" he asked, looking down at him with narrowed eyes. Hinata didn't falter.

"How are you feeling today, Tsukishima?"

Kei stared, but Hinata didn't budge, expectant and awaiting an answer.

"Why?"

Hinata huffed, poking his arm. Kei pulled away, but the shorter boy was unbelievably relentless.

"You seemed down lately. Ya feeling any better?"

"Do I look like I am?" Kei rolled his eyes. "I'm not in the mood for your antics. Leave me alone. We have practice." Why does he even care anyways?

"What? You actually _want_ to practice? What've you done with Tsukishima!?"

Kei was just tired. So fucking tired.

"Shut the fuck up. Get away from me."

But Hinata was so persistent. So irritating.

"Tsukishima! Stop it. You're obviously hurting."

_So_ irritating.

"And how would you even know that?"

"You're not talking to Yamaguchi. He's not talking to you, either."

And direct.

That was it. He wasn't going to deal with this anymore. He practically all but ran into the gym, joining the others on warm-up exercises. He didn't want to talk to Hinata about his problems. He already turned him down once. He doesn't want to talk.

So he decides to avoid him during practice.

\--

Tadashi didn't know what to think when Kageyama yanked him to the side, bringing him near the vending machines on the side of the building that barely anyone goes by. If he didn't know him, he would have been more intimidated than he already was.

"What are you doing?" he asks him.

Kageyama had a weird look on his face, and Tadashi just thought it was him being unable to properly express himself when it comes to social interaction like this. He would have laughed if it didn't seem like such a serious situation.

"Hinata and I..." he began, coughing into his fist, seemingly embarrassed. "We're a duo. You know. Partners, and stuff like that. Yeah?"

Tadashi blinked, nodding as if it was obvious, which it was. "Yeah..?"

"So are you and Tsukishima." He declared bluntly, and Tadashi was taken aback. "You guys are a duo, too."

He was a little hurt, thinking about Tsukki right now. He was his partner, huh?

"What about that?"

Kageyama stifled a groan, and again, Tadashi would have laughed if he wasn't feeling odd at the moment. 

"So just. Stop fighting with him."

Tadashi wished it could be that easy. He stayed silent, sensing that he still had more to say.

Kageyama seemed to struggle with his next few words, but the fact that he said them anyways meant a lot to him. 

"Yeah, he's a fucking jerk, but you know him better than any one of us. You probably see him... Not. Be a jerk. More often than not. Right?" 

Before he could respond, they had turned their heads at hearing their captain call for any stragglers, lest they suffer extra laps, and Yamaguchi just sighed, feeling a little heavy. Kageyama was right, though. He can't let the two of them fall apart like this, even if he wanted Tsukki to make an effort too. He does know Tsukki well enough. Maybe not at the moment, though. The Tsukki existing right now is one he doesn't have much experience with. But he's going to try and keep them together.

"Thanks, Kageyama." He merely said, jogging over to the gym.

Kageyama followed after him, wondering if Hinata had succeeded. Seeing him tossing alone, and Tsukishima on the other side of the gym, listening to Sugawara, he figured he didn't. Tsukishima really was a hard nut to crack. Either way, he hoped Yamaguchi could fix things.

* * *

Practice was alright. Kei managed to avoid Hinata, rushing off to class without waiting for Yamaguchi once practice ended. He could always talk to him later, anyways. But thinking about Hinata angered him. Stupid observational shrimp. He wasn't hurting. He was just... surviving. Barely. That's not hurting. What did Hinata know, anyways?

He barely talked to Yamaguchi still, and almost dozed off in class after struggling through note-taking. His notes were filled with messy scrawls, and he narrowed his eyes at his pencil, thinking it was the offender for this terrible debacle, for a short second. 

So today was a disastrous day, he decided. He dreaded afternoon practice, and was considering skipping. He wanted to go home and sleep. If he actually could, he would.

He didn't think things would get even _worse_. But then lunch hour rolled around.

What luck shines down on him today, that Yamaguchi ended up being preoccupied with helping a classmate into lunch hour. Even if Kei could feel his gaze on him as he got up to leave, mumbling something about going elsewhere to rest, he ignored it. Just like he ignored his feelings. Perfect. Nothing he wasn't used to already.

Exiting his classroom, he felt something hit his chest, and he glared at the offender. Hinata.

"What the hell do you want now." Kei said, gritting his teeth. He really did not want to do anything today. Especially not with Hinata.

"Tsukishima!" His voice was so grating on his mind.

But he must've been really tired, if he just absentmindedly let Hinata drag him down to an empty courtyard, with scarily unknown intentions. Staggering after him, he followed him, wishing he wasn't so stupidly quick and eager. He didn't have time for this. Didn't want to waste time with him. He watched as Hinata sat down, reaching for his hand.

"Talk to me." Hinata just demanded, pulling him down so that he was on the grass next to him, and Kei gave him the most displeased look he could, despite the fact that he let him do so.

Hinata only sat there, staring right back at him. Seemingly frigid yet highly unnerving.

God. Curse him and his ability to get used to his stupid fake-outs.

"Why should I." He really shouldn't have become friends with him, he thinks. "I don't need to talk to anyone, especially not you." He was stubborn, and he knew it. But he really didn't think he needed any help. Hinata hit the ground with his hand, frustrated. That's all people seem to be with him, lately.

"Damnit, Tsukishima, just tell me what's wrong! You're my friend, whether you like it or not, and I'm worried about you! I bet Yamaguchi's worried too!"

Kei glared at him again.

"Stop talking like you know him."

"It's because I _do_ know him, you stupid. He's my friend too."

He didn't know why that irritated him so much, because he knew they were friends. They've both mentioned hanging out together multiple times, but now it just strikes him oddly.

"If you know him so well, then go talk to him instead of me." Yes, he was going to be difficult. He just still didn't understand _why_ Hinata seemed to be going through such lengths for them. For him. Especially when he's not the easiest person in the world to talk to. Even more so on his bad days.

Hinata let out an exasperated groan.

"You _cannot_ be serious right now. You're being so difficult! Kick down your walls already, Stingyshima!"

Kei just rubbed his temples, sighing. His walls were only going to be reinforced at this point, with the way this talk was going. Then he would never have to open up. That sounded nice.

"Shut the hell up already. I didn't even ask for this talk. I'm not going to listen to you."

Hinata stood up, right over him. He was hard to see against the afternoon sun that he seemed to replace.

"Then I'll talk! I'll talk and talk until you listen!" Who was he to be so brash? Kei found that a part of him somehow admired him when he acted this way. "You can't let the friendship between you and Yamaguchi die!"

Despite everything he was thinking, the overwhelming anger that people would _not_ stop butting into their business was a lot. Everyone keeps _assuming_ things. And yeah, they might be true, but the fact that they're assumptions and _still_ hit the mark was a little more than annoying.

"Who said it was going to?"

Damn it, Kei. Stop taking the damn bait. He said that on purpose.

"Both of you did." Hinata continued, scowling, and Kei would have felt intimidated if he wasn't scowling right back at him. "You said so, too. A lot. Yamaguchi looks so sad nowadays. And so do you," he didn't seem to care for his repetition, keeping his focus right on Kei's wide eyes. "You both do. You're both hurting, and even what I did yesterday didn't help! You guys are being so dumb!"

As always, he shoots out a remark without thinking, because he's getting upset and he's just tired of it all. "We don't need your help. Stop butting into our business, shrimp."

Bait, Kei. Bait. Stop it.

"That's why Kageyama and I are trying to help you out! We don't want to see you guys so sad anymore! It hurts the rest of us too, you know. We care about you guys. You're our friends."

If Kei was having a better day today, he would have probably responded differently. If he had slept, he wouldn't have responded the way he did. If he was a better friend, maybe, he wouldn't be in this entire mess in the first place. 

If he was better, he wouldn't have done what he just did.

"How many times do I have to say it?"

Kei stands, looming over Hinata with a sneer.

"I don't need your fucking help. I don't care if you guys think I do. I'm a terrible fucking friend anyways. What kind of friend pushes away people that care about them? Multiple times? Huh?" Him, and Yamaguchi. The team. They all get pushed away.

He can't stop.

"Yamaguchi and I–" His breath hitched on Yamaguchi's name, but he continued. "So what if we're falling apart. What about it? There's nothing we can do. Call me a fucking coward. Do it. Maybe I'm giving up. He doesn't deserve someone like me." He shoves Hinata away, watching him stagger back with a shocked look on his face.

Spilling everything out, intentional or not, Kei just can't filter out anything anymore. He said he wasn't going to say anything, yet here he was.

"I miss him so much it hurts. It hurts! A lot! Like, fuck, what can I do if he's so busy all the time? Nothing! So I'm just sitting here, being useless!"

He hates the look of pity in Hinata's eyes.

"Stop it. Stop looking at me like that. Save it for someone who actually wants your pity," he stammers out, stepping back as Hinata looks on, as if he's a frightened animal.

Hinata steps forward. Kei steps back.

"Tsukishima," Kei wants to cry at that soft voice, what the fuck. He hates how _vulnerable_ he feels, hates how _vulnerable_ he's made himself.

"There's nothing we can do. It's just going to get worse." Kei finishes, getting his bearings together. "If 5 years of like, the only real friendship I've ever had ends because of my dumb ass, then so be it." He was going to cry.

He was going to cry, but Hinata shouldn't have hugged him.

That activated his fight or flight response, being in such a vulnerable state despite trying to piece himself back together. He shoved him back with a yell, shoving him hard against the ground, trying to ignore the yelp of pain escaping his mouth.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me."

He would have felt satisfied at finally fending Hinata off, if the bell hadn't rung to get back to class, and he didn't just push someone away again. Literally, this time.

Hinata's hurt expression wasn't Yamaguchi's, but it hurt just as bad, for some reason.

"I'm sorry," the apology slips from Hinata's lips, and Kei thinks, he shouldn't be the one apologizing.

Kei backed away further, distancing himself from him as he watched the other get up with a wince, rubbing at his back. Their eyes met, and he wished it didn't. He hated seeing pity. He hated it so much. But he hated seeing pain the most. And knowing he caused that? Haha. Even worse for him.

As seemingly awkward as it was, Kei goes to hide in a corner of the courtyard beside a bush, feeling as if he really was the worst person in the world. Everything he ever says ends up against him. Maybe he should just never speak again. This is why he doesn't deserve friends. at all.

Pulling out his phone, he ignored the missed text messages from Yamaguchi, going over to the one contact who could help him out of this hell hole he was in.

"Hey, Mom? Can you come pick me up?"

He didn't want to see anyone else ever again. Today was the worst kind of day.

* * *

Tadashi eyed Tsukki's empty desk for the third time this class. His things were gone, taken by administration because he had apparently gone home. He wanted so badly to talk to him, but as far as he knows, Tsukki hasn't even read his previous text messages. He really hoped he was okay.

He couldn't stop thinking about what Kageyama said to him earlier that morning.

The fact that other people thought that he and Tsukki go hand in hand together meant a lot to him. They were a package deal, just like their friends.

Maybe he'll visit him after practice, or something.

He manages to get through the rest of his classes. He exits the classroom, surprised to see Hinata waiting there, looking worried.

"Hinata? What's up?" He questioned, tilting his head.

"Where's Tsukishima?" he asked, peering around him in an attempt to find him.

"Tsukki went home earlier today. Why..?"

The way Hinata balled up his fists worried him, and he just jerked his head, gesturing for him to follow. It made sense, seeing as how they had been blocking the doorway and were surrounded by students. So he followed him downstairs.

"I tried talking to Tsukishima today," Hinata began, kicking his legs as he sat on a bench with Tadashi. "And I think I really upset him. But I didn't mean to go so far."

For some reason, Tadashi could clearly see Tsukki in his words. Tsukki probably thought like this, if he really did know him as well as he likes to believe. He was curious, though.

"What were you guys talking about?"

Hinata stopped, raising his head to look at Tadashi directly. He bit his lip, before pouting.

"You guys need to make up." Okay, whoa, talk about the unexpected.

"Wait, what does that have to do with–" Tadashi started to protest, feeling his heart begin to sink.

"He's hurting, just like you are." Tadashi knew that. He knew that, deep down, but he ignored it. Hearing it said out loud, to him, by someone that wasn't Tsukki, was a little more than shocking.

"I'm n–" and Hinata shot him a look that said, "I've heard enough of this," and he stopped talking. Hinata continued.

"I told him this. So I'll tell it to you too. You guys are being dumb. Please talk to each other soon. It hurts to see you guys like this. You're my friends."

Tadashi's gaze dropped to his lap, and he watched his fingers fiddle around. He didn't want to be like Tsukki either, but it was hard to even contact him in the first place.

"I hate seeing my friends so sad and not being able to do anything about it."

Tadashi intertwined his fingers together, squeezing his hands hard as he thought about it.

"Don't worry, Hinata," he began with a small sigh. "It's not like I'll let us just, break apart like that." It hurts too much to even think about.

"Even if Tsukki hates me, I won't leave his side." He never would leave him.

The shove into his shoulder almost bowled him over, and he glared at Hinata, who stared back steadily.

"He doesn't hate you."

What?

"Have more confidence in yourself, Yamaguchi. You know him better than anyone else. You probably would've known not to hug him, if you saw the way he was." Did something happen? Tadashi was a little concerned. "Or maybe that happened because it was me." Hinata laughed, before growing somber again.

"I did what I could for you guys."

Tadashi stayed quiet, eyes on his lap again.

"I did only what I could do. Which was to hear you guys out, and try to help you guys see what you're so damn stubborn to not see. You two really are dumb." He repeats, crossing his arms.

Tadashi whacked him on the shoulder, a small smile present. Hinata really was trying his best to make sure he and Tsukki didn't go through something they would regret for years to come. He's grateful for him.

"We really are, huh?"

Hinata grinned back at him, giving him a small high five. "Yeah, you pack of dummies. Now go talk to Tsukishima. I'll tell Daichi-san what happened to you two!"

Tadashi gave him a hug, before standing up with a determined huff. "Thanks Hinata. you're the best."

Hinata laughed, as he waved at him. "No, you!"

* * *

The car ride home was silent, save for the small classical piece floating through Kei's headphones. His mother was always an understanding person, and knows Kei would never want to get out of school if he was doing alright. So he knows he basically let the fact that he wasn't drop without a choice.

Arriving home, he exited the car, moving to go to the front door, before his mother softly called his name.

"Yeah, Mom?"

She smiled sweetly at him and held up a bag from his favorite bakery. "I went before I got you."

Kei almost tears up, but he smiles instead.

"Thank you."

He knew that they were going to talk. He was going to be trapped by the food he loved most, and unable to escape his mother's questioning. So he's prepared, and the hour or two that passes felt like nothing as he answers most of her questions easily. It was all easy, until she asks,

"You're not giving up, are you?"

Uh, actually, he was.

The silence dragged on for too long, and he earned that bop on the head that she gave him. She was looking disapprovingly at him, but he just stared at his half-eaten shortcake.

"Kei, don't give up on him. You said you missed him, right?" She was that anchor that he felt he was missing at the moment.

He nodded and gazed steadily at his mother. "So much that I hate it."

She smiled fondly at him, going to ruffle his hair. He couldn't help but feel warm, and he grasped onto that warmth, holding it tightly. It wasn't Yamaguchi's, but it was familiar, and he cherished it all the same.

"I want to talk to him." He says, curling his fingers in his lap. He wanted to talk to him, but he hadn't even answered his text messages. Would Yamaguchi want to talk to him, too?

Before he could think about it some more, he heard knocking.

Both of them looked to the direction of the front door, and Kei immediately felt nervous. There's no way it was him. Yet there was no one else it could be, but him. Kei knows he said that he wanted to talk to him, but he had wanted some time to prepare himself first. It was evident that he wasn't going to get that time.

Kei's mother placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, grabbing his plate so his cake could be saved. With a final look of encouragement, she nodded at him, and he nodded back, getting up to walk towards the door. His movements felt robotic, and he glared hard at himself in the small mirror that hung in the hallway near the front door. He just has to get over himself. That's all.

With a deep breath, and an increasing annoyance at the persistent knocking, he shook his head, and opened the door to reveal his best friend, who looked determined enough to take on a horde of enemies.

"Tsukki!" It hasn't even been a few hours, but hearing his voice, the determination weaved into it, made him feel a little emotional. It really was him.

"Y-Yeah?" Curse his nerves.

"Can we talk?" It's now or never.

"Yeah, of course." Get him back, Kei.

Get him back.

* * *

They were going to talk. And not just a simple old, dodge every question with more questions kind of talk. This wasn't going to be like that, and Tadashi was going to make sure of it. He won't let Tsukki run away. He won't let him slip from his grasp.

As they were walking towards the back door, where the deck was, Tsukki yawned, and Tadashi glanced at him. Right. His insomnia. Instead of anger rising, as it sometimes does, thinking about that, only worry appeared.

"Have you been taking care of yourself?"

Tsukki flinched, and Tadashi watched as he sat down on the grass. He joined him, still awaiting an answer.

"Not really, no. I can barely get by, lately." Tadashi sighed, expecting that.

"Well, now you can start taking care of yourself."

He expected that look of irritation too.

"What do you mean by that?"

Tadashi was tired. He honestly wanted to skip straight to where he and Tsukki made up, but knew they had to talk everything out first.

"I just mean that I'll be around more. So I can help you out more, and–" he suddenly felt as if that was the wrong thing to say.

Knowing Tsukki's state, despite his seemingly calm demeanor, he would focus on the things that didn't matter as much. Tadashi was rushing too much, and he blamed it on nerves and that over eagerness of his.

"I'm not a child. I can take care of myself just fine. I don't need help."

He's isolating himself again.

\--

"Stop. Stop pushing me away." Yamaguchi pleaded, looking at him earnestly. Kei balked, not realizing he had done that by saying what he did. Had _been_ doing that, now that he's thinking about it.

God, Kei, can't you see he's w—

"Why are you so worried about me, anyways?"

Stupid. Stupid Kei.

The answer to that was obvious, and they both knew it. They both knew that they knew it. But Yamaguchi still huffed at him.

"I'm _worried_ because you're my best friend, dummy. I care a lot about you."

Did they really have to talk? Can't they just, hug and make up? Kei can't take this.

His bravado from before has possibly warped into stupid indignation, and Kei told himself to calm down. But now that this was happening, and he was already feeling so bad, he just wanted to hug Yamaguchi. No more talking. So, with a pout, he silently held out his arms, embarrassed.

Yamaguchi stared at him, before shaking his head, and Kei let his arms drop back to his side, glaring at him. Why couldn't they hug? Kei was even the one asking for it. They haven't hugged since the day before, but it felt like it's been weeks since they last hugged.

"We're not done yet, Tsukki. I know how you feel, but we have to talk everything out first. Everything." Kei just sighed. He didn't understand, but he did.

"Fine."

Silence washed over them again. So, what were they supposed to say now? Kei can't just say everything he admitted to Hinata.

Though, he supposes he did mention just how much he missed Yamaguchi's presence to him already. Multiple times. Just without too much self-destructive tendencies. What Yamaguchi said next shocked him, though.

"I thought you hated me, Tsukki. When you said you avoided me, back then."

No. He could never hate him. Never in a million years.

\--

Tadashi continues, constantly turning around a blade of grass in his fingers as he admits this.

"I thought I was okay with that. I was okay with you hating me, because we were still friends. But I'm not. And, I don't really think you hate me, now. You were just... being you. Not that you're a bad person as you seem to believe. But, I am kind of ashamed of myself, because I'm supposed to know you," he laughed at his own words, sounding sad. "I knew what you were saying, but I blew up at you. I just got so angry — it was almost scary. I didn't like it. I hated every bit of it, actually."

A beat of silence, before a soft reply.

"Me too," Tsukki says, and Tadashi turns to him. "I thought you hated me, too."

Knowing him, he isn't surprised. Tsukki has always been like this, surrounded in a pessimistic aura whenever something really bad happens. Always blaming himself for things, because he can't seem to believe that not everything is his fault. He doesn't know why he thinks the way he does, but like hell he would let him continue this train of thought around him.

"I'd never hate you, Tsukki." Tadashi says, honest.

\--

"Really?" Kei can't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. "Even when I'm being stupid?"

Yamaguchi gave him a look, flicking a blade of grass onto him.

"Yeah. You wouldn't really hate me too, would you?" Kei was already shaking his head.

"No – of course not. Never."

"See. Now we know." But why did Kei still feel empty? That must have not been all there was to talk about. 

He started speaking before he could think about it.

"But, I'm a bad friend. I shouldn't be considered a friend, in the first place. I pushed Hinata away. Literally. He was trying to help me before, but I just–"

"For Christ's sake, Tsukki!" Kei jumped, not expecting Yamaguchi's voice to have risen like that.

"You're not a bad friend! You're just a friend who did bad things! So what? Hinata doesn't even care about that anymore! He came up to me earlier, and he was only _worried_. For _you._ For us." Yamaguchi glared into his eyes, and Kei felt a little bitter, but he kept listening to his words, knowing it was the only way he could really get it together.

"You're still Hinata's friend. You're still my friend. Just listen to yourself. It sounds like you're not even grateful."

Kei hates this. He throws a bunch of grass at him. Yamaguchi doesn't flinch, he just lets the grass settle onto him.

"Just because I don't seem grateful doesn't mean that I'm not! I'm just terrible at expressing myself well!" Admitting that wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, but it was to Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi, who seems to be cornering him.

"Yeah? And what about it?"

Kei was too focused on himself to realize what Yamaguchi was trying to do.

"You guys don't deserve someone like me! But that doesn't mean I don't – I never want to – I can't stand the thought of not having you by my side! That's how much you matter!"

Only when he noticed Yamaguchi's strangely emotional expression did he realize what he said, but he scowled, getting cold feet as he mumbled this time.

"So I don't want to lose you guys. What of it? I don't want to lose you. I was telling myself I'd be fine if we stopped being friends, but."

He paused, picking at the grass in between his fingers once again.

"I wouldn't really be. I'd probably just be even moodier. An absolute prick. More than I am already."

Yamaguchi was watching him, he could feel it. He continued pulling out grass anyways.

"So I think a lot of terrible things about myself, yeah. I know that. I say stupid shit all the time. It doesn't excuse anything, though." He's very aware of the things he says, on impulse or otherwise, despite what others may think. But he knows it isn't an excuse.

"I hurt people. I hurt you, and Hinata. I still have to apologize to him later." Kei turned to Yamaguchi, about to say more, but stopped when he raised his hand.

"Before you continue, I thought I'd just let you know that, as I said earlier, I'm going to be around more, now."

\--

The frown on Tsukki's face made Tadashi want to laugh. He knew he was on a roll here, but he had to cut in and say his piece.

"I asked Shimada-san for less hours now, since I finally figured out what I'm going to get you with the money I've earned. And I have more than enough." It wasn't a mistake to continue wanting to get him something, he was sure.

Before Tsukki could say anything, he lifted a stray piece of grass, and pressed it against his face, laughing as it stuck.

"And no, I'm not going to tell you what it is. You'll just have to wait and see."

Tsukki swiped the grass off his face with a pout.

"Fine, then."

\--

Now what? Yamaguchi seems to have said his piece. Was that it?

Oh, no, he forgot.

"Hey," Kei began, looking at him. "I just wanted to say, I'm. I'm sorry for how I've been acting. And for what I've said. I knew all this time that I was being unfair, and yet I still did what I did. Said what I said. I was being selfish. I knew you couldn't help but be busy. But I couldn't stop thinking about how I just – missed you." He struggled with these words, despite the fact that he's said them before.

"It kind of reminded me of when you first went to practice with Shimada-san, and I didn't know." Memories of an empty space beside him as he walked home tugged at his heartstrings, but he paid them no mind.

"But that was different, because we still talked. Even if it wasn't a lot, too. It was more than it was now. It didn't hurt as much as it did now; I don't know why it hurt so much this time. But I know I didn't exactly help when I retaliated, and I was just. Being stupid, and petty." Kei sighs, and Yamaguchi hums.

"You know what, Tsukki? I've got it. This is what I want. I want our friendship back. That's why I'm taking less hours now, so we can hang out again. I've figured out that this is what I want."

Kei thinks of the previous night's conversation, as Yamaguchi looks at him in earnest.

"It hasn't even been a day since... But have you figured out what you want?"

What _did he_ want?

Well, it was simple. He's known this for a while, So all he had to do, was agree with him.

"Well, kind of. I want our friendship back too. but I'm–" he pursed his lips. "I want to be a better friend to you. Because it's what you deserve. A better me."

"You're already the best "you" you can be, Tsukki." Kei was about to say that's not what he meant, but he stopped when he saw Yamaguchi's face. He was incredibly happy, for some reason. Almost to the point of tears. "I'm really happy you said that, though – you're trying."

Kei wanted to hug him, to wipe those tears away. But he lets him continue.

"And, I'm glad you know what you want to do. and that we can agree on that. God, I– I was afraid that you wanted to give me up for good, that you were tired of me not being around as often, and hearing you say that you even want to better yourself makes me envious of you."

A small pause, as Yamaguchi gives him a soft smile.

"So you know what? I'm going to do the same as you. I'm gonna give you the best Yamaguchi you can get. And, we're going to talk again. More, now. I know that it'll settle back to normal, but an even better normal." Yamaguchi's smile turned wide, and Kei couldn't help but return one back.

\--

Tadashi watched Tsukki, expectant. It was funny to see him tilt his head in confusion, before his face flushed red in realization. He laughed, as the other held out his arms once more, and Tadashi flung himself into Tsukki's hug, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

"I wanted this, too."

The hug from the night before left him yearning, _yearning_ for Tsukki even more than he did during the past few weeks. He missed him so, so much. He wanted to hug him forever, because he could never get enough. He was even happier to know that Tsukki thought the same.

\--

"Yeah, me too." Kei began, holding him close. It almost felt surreal – that all his emotional pain and suffering was now over. Granted, he still has a few things left to do the next day, but... He suddenly snorted.

"You still have grass in your hair, stupid."

Yamaguchi pouted, reaching up to brush it off. "If you didn't throw it at me, it wouldn't be in my hair, dummy. You threw a lot of grass. Ruined your mom's beautiful lawn. She's gonna get sooo mad at you," he says, poking his cheek.

Kei frowned at him. "She wouldn't."

Yamaguchi snickered, shifting comfortably in his arms. "Oh yeah, she's too soft on you."

He was right. Especially during his more vulnerable days, like today. But still.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

"Let go of me, then maybe I will."

His hold only tightened. "Are you insane? No. you're stuck with me now."

"Oh noooo. What a shame. Really sucks to be me." Yamaguchi drew out flatly.

They both laughed, and Yamaguchi looked up at him, seeming a little worried.

"So, I just want like, an actual confirmation, but we're okay now, right? We can really just, talk to each other again? Everything's okay between us?"

Kei just hugged him close, speaking softly.

"Yeah, of course it is. We're okay."

* * *

The next day, Kei motions Hinata to the side, as Yamaguchi goes to talk to Kageyama, presumably to thank him for whatever he did. Hinata brightens, moving to hug him, before he paused, watching Kei. The slight nod he gave as a confirmation was enough for him to throw his arms around him, squeezing him tight. A proper hug, as opposed to the one from yesterday.

"Tsukishima! You're okay!"

He would have responded as he usually does, but his genuine concern still threw Kei for a loop, if he had to be honest.

"Yeah, I am." Hinata pulled back, smirking at him.

"Done being dumb yet?"

Hinata deserved the punch in the shoulder that he got, but it wasn't even much, because Kei still felt bad for yesterday.

"Yeah, Yamaguchi and I are okay now." And they were. It still felt weird, but in a really good way. He was happy. "Sorry, for pushing you away, though. Figuratively and literally."

Hinata waved it off with a grin, but it was obvious he was happy at getting an apology. "Don't worry about it, Tsukishima! I know I pushed you a lot too, so everything's okay! See, look!"

He gestures to Yamaguchi and Kageyama, where the former was smiling brightly.

"Kageyama did his part too. I'm so proud of him," he said almost jokingly, clasping his hands together.

"Yeah, thank you both." Kei said, looking a little disgruntled at having to say such a thing. But Hinata was already pushing him to the other pair, saying Kageyama needs to hear it.

As Yamaguchi perked up at their arrival, he shared a look that made him smile.

Tadashi was happy that he could talk to Tsukki, and that they could all talk to each other as a result. They really owed everything to their teammates. Because they were all friends, now.

\--

Tadashi was a sneaky one, so he was glad Tsukki never caught on to what he was doing. When he took Tsukki to the newest museum that opened up the following weekend, he couldn't help but laugh, ecstatic to see him so excited. The money he saved for this was worth it.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi." He retorted. "And thank you."

Tadashi grinned. "You're welcome, Tsukki!"


End file.
